The 74+ Best Workplace Jokes (2022)

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One morning, Mr. Johnson was driving home from his night shift. He had worked hard all night and his home was about an hour away from his workplace, so he decided to take a nap. A man at my wife’s workplace has been sexually harassing her, but honestly I feel like it’s her fault. I hate women who gossip about me at workplace What workplace smells the most? Strong tape is integral to a thriving workplace workplace injury I, the Penis, hereby demand a raise in salary What will Post Malone's workplace be called? How do women in the workplace stay cool? A man moves into a new neighborhood closer to his workplace so he can walk to work. Humor in the workplace Hierarchy at the workplace A man had a workplace accident which caused him to lose one of his ear. How is a toilet like a workplace? Did you hear about the guy who’s surrounded by positive people at his workplace? I live in a non-legal state and I recently found a little baggie of weed in the parking lot outside my workplace. Since drugs are illegal and I am a good and responsible citizen, I immediately took the bag home and destroyed the weed If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days I hate when my daughter tells that she feels embarassed when I show up in her workplace and check on her The glass ceiling I’m the life and soul of my workplace During mandatory sensitivity training, we were asked if dumb blonde jokes were appropriate in the workplace. At my workplace, there's a forklift that we all call "The Libertarian" There's this joke about sex that everyone is sharing at my workplace. This bloke just came in my workplace shouting "vodka, tequila, sambuca!" What do you call a droid who was sexually harassed in the workplace? My workplace has a monthly fun day, and this month was PJ Day. But when I showed up in my PJs, I WAS FIRED! Girl at my workplace said that if I finished up before her, she'd let me come back to her place. To all of the cleaners out there, working tirelessly to keep our hospitals and workplaces clean, I have just one thing to say to you. My boss told be there would be a training seminar about sexual innuendo in the workplace and asked me to invite my secretary. Why did Medusa have to take harassment in the workplace training? A new nurse is being given the tour of his new workplace. I heard you have to make a payment when you enter a Microsoft workplace I keep hearing that more women in the workplace makes for a stronger economy. But isn't that obvious? I hate being the only 3D modelling guy at my workplace Sex in the office A construction worker lost his hand in an workplace accident. The bathroom door at my workplace has a sign that reads "Please use toilet brush after using the toilet." Alot of airport workers treat workplace sanitation very seriously. I get horrified whenever I hear about women being mistreated at their workplaces. My boss doesn't approve my practice of taking a glass of rum before work. He said "I won't tolerate alcoholism in a workplace!", to which I replied "Sir, it's not alcoholism.. Bert and Ernie served as daytime radio hosts for over twenty years. My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace. My workplace scheduled Sexual Harassment Training. My workplace is like an episode of Gilmore Girls My workplace has "Jamaican Hair Day" next week... Interviewer: What are your thoughts about nepotism in a workplace environment? Enter job interview . Interviewer asks infamous question "what is your greatest weakness in the workplace?" Pause for 10 to 15 seconds then say "I'm bad with awkward silences " With all these workplace sexual assault cases it makes me wonder. You are being sarcastic How do you describe someone who has a boner when they are at their workplace? What kinds of boobs are popular in the workplace? Two doctors and 1 Pharmacy A man and a woman are having an argument NSFW: My wife and I have been working from home since April, and I finally called her HR Department with a complaint. The penis requested a wage raise from his company one day I don't know which is thinner I met my girlfriend in high school, I got my job at the secret government facility today. A man goes to his friend for advice A guy is talking to his coworker. The male owner of a business is interviewing a young woman just about to graduate from an all-women’s college. My boss is refusing to let my string quartet play for a coworker's birthday party next week. Called into HR at work Problems at work A man calls his secretary... Dating techniques A mime got fired. I work as a CNA and today at work a resident in the cafeteria in a nursing home I work for asked for 1 extra cracker for his soup... The Wasp who Won America's Heart (shaggy dog) A lawyer walks into a bar... I just got fired from my new job at the pharmacy. Another day at the White House Saw someone post this on Facebook. Got a kick out of it. CNN & NBC news report (political humor)

One morning, Mr. Johnson was driving home from his night shift. He had worked hard all night and his home was about an hour away from his workplace, so he decided to take a nap.

He pulled his car over to the side of the road and closed his eyes.

Fifteen minutes later, he was awakened by a jogger tapping on his window. Mr. Johnson rolled down the window.

"Do you know what time it is?" asked the jogger.

"No!" snapped Mr. Johnson. He rolled his window back...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man at my wife’s workplace has been sexually harassing her, but honestly I feel like it’s her fault.

She’s the one who chose to work from home, and she knows how I feel about dat ass.

I hate women who gossip about me at workplace

Especially to the HR ..

What workplace smells the most?

The ol' factory.

Strong tape is integral to a thriving workplace

some say that it is indispensable!

workplace injury

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day at work!" the guy sighs. "I fell off a 20-foot ladder." "You're kidding!" the bartender exclaims. "Are you okay? Shouldn't you be at the hospital?" "Oh no, I'm fine," the guy says. "I was just on the first step."

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I, the Penis, hereby demand a raise in salary

I, the Penis, hereby demand a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has...

What will Post Malone's workplace be called?

Post office

How do women in the workplace stay cool?

A glass ceiling fan.

A man moves into a new neighborhood closer to his workplace so he can walk to work.

On his first day walking to work in the morning, he’s walking past a house and in the window he sees a woman hit her son over the head with a loaf of bread.

Each morning as he walks to work he sees the woman hit the boy over the head with a loaf of bread. Everyday it’s the same.

Then...

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Humor in the workplace

A guy who works in a deli goes to his psychiatrist and says, “Doc! I’ve become obsessed with sticking my penis in the pickle slicer at work.”

Quite concerned, the psychiatrist lists the many reasons it’s a bad idea.

The guy brings the subject up week after week. One week he comes in an...

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Hierarchy at the workplace

is like monkeys on a tree.

The ones below look up and all they see are assholes.

A man had a workplace accident which caused him to lose one of his ear.

He had no choice but to get a ear prosthetic to replace his lost ear. However, he seemed to be a completely changed person, from his mannerisms to his personality. His colleague finally caved and asked him one day: "Hey, why have you changed so much since the accident?". To which he replied:
...

How is a toilet like a workplace?

The biggest lumps rise to the top

Did you hear about the guy who’s surrounded by positive people at his workplace?

Yeah, he really hates his work at the HIV clinic.

I live in a non-legal state and I recently found a little baggie of weed in the parking lot outside my workplace. Since drugs are illegal and I am a good and responsible citizen, I immediately took the bag home and destroyed the weed

... in a series of small fires.

If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days

just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.

I hate when my daughter tells that she feels embarassed when I show up in her workplace and check on her

But this is the only strip club in the town ..

The glass ceiling

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "My girlfriend is always complaining that she can't advance at work because of the glass ceiling. What do you think" he asks the bartender. "I think if our workplaces really had glass ceilings," the bartender replies,"we'd probably let all the women work abo...

I’m the life and soul of my workplace

I work in a morgue

During mandatory sensitivity training, we were asked if dumb blonde jokes were appropriate in the workplace.

Whatever you do, don't say "Isn't dumb blonde redundant?"

At my workplace, there's a forklift that we all call "The Libertarian"

The steering doesn't work properly, so whenever you try to use it, it immediately makes a hard right and breaks something important.

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There's this joke about sex that everyone is sharing at my workplace.

Apparently, I'm the only one who doesn't get it.

This bloke just came in my workplace shouting "vodka, tequila, sambuca!"

I said "Oi! I call the shots round here!"

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What do you call a droid who was sexually harassed in the workplace?

R2MeToo

My workplace has a monthly fun day, and this month was PJ Day. But when I showed up in my PJs, I WAS FIRED!

\#justicefornakedsleepers

Girl at my workplace said that if I finished up before her, she'd let me come back to her place.

I'm proud to say, I finished before her twice today.

To all of the cleaners out there, working tirelessly to keep our hospitals and workplaces clean, I have just one thing to say to you.

You missed a spot.

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My boss told be there would be a training seminar about sexual innuendo in the workplace and asked me to invite my secretary.

I left her a post it note saying if she couldn’t come I’d happily fill her slot for her.

Why did Medusa have to take harassment in the workplace training?

Because she wouldn't stop objectifying people.

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A new nurse is being given the tour of his new workplace.

He and a fellow nurse walk the hallways of the hospital. Passing one of the rooms he sees a nurse mounted on top of a patient having rough passionate sex.

"What on earth is this nurse doing?!" He asked.
The other nurse casually replies "this man has a very rare condition. I...

I heard you have to make a payment when you enter a Microsoft workplace

They are called bill gates

I keep hearing that more women in the workplace makes for a stronger economy. But isn't that obvious?

Cheaper labour always helps the bottom line.

I hate being the only 3D modelling guy at my workplace

Every day my coworkers will ask if I can do them a solid

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Sex in the office

A guy conducting a survey calls up a random person on the phone and asks, "Sir, what are your thoughts on sex in the workplace?"

"Well, first of all, I'm married. But regardless, the options in my workplace aren't all that great anyway."

"And where exactly do you work?"

"From ho...

A construction worker lost his hand in an workplace accident.

The insurance company is trying to figure out how it happened but they can't quite put their finger on it

The bathroom door at my workplace has a sign that reads "Please use toilet brush after using the toilet."

Will it be okay to ask my employer to provide a softer brush so it hurts less?

Alot of airport workers treat workplace sanitation very seriously.

Otherwise people could catch terminal illnesses.

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I get horrified whenever I hear about women being mistreated at their workplaces.

What in the flying fuck are they doing out of the kitchen?

My boss doesn't approve my practice of taking a glass of rum before work. He said "I won't tolerate alcoholism in a workplace!", to which I replied "Sir, it's not alcoholism..

*it's microboozing*

Bert and Ernie served as daytime radio hosts for over twenty years.

Bert and Ernie worked together as daytime radio hosts for over twenty years. They'd traded jokes, played pop music and generally made peoples lives a touch brighter as they trundled to their workplace.

Now though, there was a silence on the air. Ernie silently reread the fax from civil defen...

My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace.

After a few hours I finally found the exit.

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My workplace scheduled Sexual Harassment Training.

Needless to say, I was greatly disappointed.

My workplace is like an episode of Gilmore Girls

Fast paced and full of unlikeable characters.

My workplace has "Jamaican Hair Day" next week...

...I'm already dreading it.

Interviewer: What are your thoughts about nepotism in a workplace environment?

Candidate: Well, that’s a really good question, Dad.

Enter job interview . Interviewer asks infamous question "what is your greatest weakness in the workplace?" Pause for 10 to 15 seconds then say "I'm bad with awkward silences "

If the don't laugh then pause again and say "sometimes my jokes aren't well received " problem solved

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With all these workplace sexual assault cases it makes me wonder.

How has Ron Jeremy gotten away with it all these years?

You are being sarcastic

Years ago, in a very toxic workplace, my manager called me to a meeting and told me that I am using sarcasm and it undermines his authority

I looked at him and asked: Who, me?

--- true story

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How do you describe someone who has a boner when they are at their workplace?

Hard at work

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What kinds of boobs are popular in the workplace?

Pos-tits.

Two doctors and 1 Pharmacy

A women goes to Pharmacy and when she is done getting her items the cashier asks if she wants to get a free covid shot but the women says "God will protect me from covid".

When the women gets home she gets a call from her doctor saying your qualified to come today to get your covid shot but t...

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A man and a woman are having an argument

In the heat of the argument, she calls him a misogynist.

"Am not!" he says. "In fact, I'll have you know that at my workplace, I have two bosses - one is a man, and one is a woman - and I see them both as equals!"

"Is that so?"

"Yep! And they *both* drive me crazy! He's always ...

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NSFW: My wife and I have been working from home since April, and I finally called her HR Department with a complaint.

There has been far less sexual harassment in our workplace than I was hoping for.

The penis requested a wage raise from his company one day

He presented the following arguments to justify his request:

"Dear Board, I, as the penis, request a raise due to following reasons:

1. I work hard physically.
2. I always use my head in every job I do.
3. I work in both deep and superficial environments.
4. My working environ...

I don't know which is thinner

The toilet paper at my workplace or my will to live

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I met my girlfriend in high school,

We were immediately best friends and spent days together having the most fun I had ever had. Then one day I asked her the question.

She said yes!

We were so happy together and we stayed together through high school. We both finished college together, we both got jobs together and event...

I got my job at the secret government facility today.

The workplace is separated to three parts, part "C, X and V".

We were told the V section stored the most dangerous weapons on the planet, so we are not allowed to go near it.

I work at Section X, which is the robot studying section, a whole day of programming is hard, so I chat...

A man goes to his friend for advice

He tells his friend, “I’ve been having issues with my coworker and no matter how much I yell at him he just won’t change!”

“Woah there,” his friend says. “No need to yell at him, I think you just need to get to the heart of the problem and figure it out from there.”

The man agrees and ...

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A guy is talking to his coworker.

Guy: "Man, I got fired."

Coworker: "Oh no! What happened?"

Guy: "Boss told me that if I didn't fuck her right there in the office, I'd get fired."

Coworker: "Oh, and you said no?"

Guy: "No, I said yes!"

Coworker: "So why did you get fired?"

...

The male owner of a business is interviewing a young woman just about to graduate from an all-women’s college.

She was very excited about her interview but wanted to make sure that this business was progressive when it came to women in the workplace. It seemed like every company she interviewed at were run by horrible misogynists. When it came to the part of the interview when he asked her if she had any que...

My boss is refusing to let my string quartet play for a coworker's birthday party next week.

He says he has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to workplace violins.

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Called into HR at work

I recently got called into a meeting with HR in my workplace. They wanted to discuss my incident with another co worker involving a dare where I threw a lamp at them and yelled "Lighten the fuck up".

I told them straight up it was a dare and not all my own doing.

HR asked me, "so who'...

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Problems at work

I've got to a change jobs", the patient said to his psychiatrist. "I've worked in a pickled onion factory for ten years, and last week I started to get this uncontrollable urge to put my dick in the onion peeler."
The psychiatrist explains about workplace stress and told him he must learn to re...

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A man calls his secretary...

A man calls his secretary, but the call goes to his boss instead. The man says “Hey! Get ur lazy ass up and bring me a damn coffee!” The boss, a firm believer in respect in the workplace, is outraged! She says “Listen here, sir! I am the manager of this company! Furthermore, I own this entire buildi...

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Dating techniques

One afternoon, Schmitt met up with his ex-colleague for a cup of tea. Schmitt had been single since the day he was born, so it was to his frustration when his previous lab partner, Martin, was no longer single. After another subtle round of boasting (or so Schmitt thought), Schmitt decided to ask f...

A mime got fired.

He got caught thinking outside the box at his workplace.

I work as a CNA and today at work a resident in the cafeteria in a nursing home I work for asked for 1 extra cracker for his soup...

...to this, the other resident that was sitting next to him replied to me: "Oh I thought you were just going to pick me up and hand me to him."

**Yes r/jokes leaked into real life today at my workplace.**

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The Wasp who Won America's Heart (shaggy dog)

Deep in the wasp swamps of the wasp Florida keys, there lived a young wasp. Just as a proper wasp does, this wasp worked day and night for the hive. He worked and slaved and gave his all - but this wasp was no regular wasp, for within him was the ambition and the wisdom of a great, great wasp. So, w...

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A lawyer walks into a bar...

Mr. Jones, the lawyer, walked into a bar. The bartender poured him a drink, then noticed Mr. Jones had a black eye. “What happened to you?” asked the bartender. “You look like you’ve been in a fight.”

“It’s been just an awful day at work, I tell you what.” said Mr. Jones. “I don’t even work i...

I just got fired from my new job at the pharmacy.

Apparently "drug free workplace" and "free drug workplace" are not the same thing at all.

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Another day at the White House

After returning from the White House after a forum on sex in the workplace, Monica Lewinsky takes her dress to the dry cleaner.

The dry cleaner has an ear infection and is having trouble hearing.

Monica says to the dry cleaner, I need my dress cleaned. The dry cleaner does not hear her...

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Saw someone post this on Facebook. Got a kick out of it.

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity
generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water
utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-re...

CNN & NBC news report (political humor)

*Breaking news*

A man has killed twenty people today in a walmart with a gun. The man has been identified as muhammed takbir muhammed. He is an unemployed son of a family that immigrated to the united states ten years ago from Afghanistan.

Multiple witnesses say the man was yelling "A...

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